Ditching Retail Therapy for Good

Retail therapy is often an ingrained past-time or outlet of stress and uncertainty here in the US. I know it was for me and is for many as consumer consumption makes up nearly 70% of our country’s gross domestic product. But in the end it is ultimately undermining our financial goals and future choices.

While my occupation with retail therapy started young, it really hit a fever pitch after graduating college without a job in the fallout of the Great Recession. Under intense pressure to “just find a job,” I spent much of my time acquiring my future employed wardrobe, rather than exploring entrepreneurial ventures. Having the employed look at least felt like progress and it felt like something I could actually control compared to hoping an employer would accept me for a job. Boxes were arriving constantly and I made too many trips to the shopping mall. Thousands of dollars later I had a packed closet–so much that it broke the closet rod–and yet I still “needed” certain items to really complete a look (the epitomy of the Diderot effect, whereby one purchase begets follow-on purchases). It was only during moves that the gravity of the accumulation problem really sunk in. But then I would put them away and not think of them again until the next move.

Now I have always enjoyed purging a closet or cabinet, etc.; but it was typically small scale, like a bathroom vanity or one closet, and only provided a transient difference. It was only after diving into minimalism several years ago that I systematically went through my whole home and finally gathered it ALL together. What I discovered appalled me. Come to find, I really did have a ridiculous amount of clothes. For example, I found I had 11 pairs of black dress pants at that point, not to mention the many other colors of dress pants. I had the same shirt in more than six colors, and the situation was the same for Nine West brand heels I had collected. And this was only the clothing. I also scrutinized all of our furniture, décor, and kitchen items.

After several rounds of sorting, I had bags and boxes full of things I deemed no longer necessary. It took a long while to divest myself of all this as I chose to mainly consign and sell what I no longer wanted or needed since much of what I had was still in really good condition. While only a fraction of what I had originally spent, I at least was able to recoup several hundred dollars. It felt like I had less stuff in our three-bedroom townhouse after finally going through it all than I had in our previous one-bedroom apartment. And it felt so good.

This grueling effort to try to recoup some of the costs I had put in, and even the inconvenience of donating the rest, knowing much of it never sees the Goodwill floor, has really caused me to think hard before bringing anything into my home. I keep thinking, what would I have to do to get rid of this in the future and where would it end up? There are plenty of eye-opening documentaries on the real impact of consumerism to make one pause before buying. Once you trigger the demand chain it pulls on the supply side to make more, using more resources and leading to further waste. And for what? So you can have one more plastic gadget in your home or fast-fashion top? On top of that, you may even get the guilt of never actually using it and it just taking up space.

Bottom line, getting yourself to stop retail therapy long-term requires hard work, reflection, and a mindset shift. Here are some steps to get you on the path to making this change:

• Step 1 – Lay It All Out, Take It All In: You need to grasp all that you already have. For example with clothes, pull everything out of closets, drawers, and containers, and put them on your bed. Categorize everything into tops, bottoms, dresses, shoes, etc., as applicable. Now that you have seen the full picture, how do you feel? Is the amount overwhelming? Could it even all fit in the room in which it belongs, or do you have to store such items across the home?

• Step 2 – Sort: Now that you see all that you have, pull out the items you find you consistently wear. This is your core wardrobe, and presumably the foundation for your Love pile. Continue to systemically sort what you have into Unsure, Sell, Donate, or Dispose.
  • Unsure items can be put away in a container for a few months to give you time to determine whether they are something you really want to keep or don’t even miss and can remove. Set a reminder in your planner or phone calendar for three months later.
  • For Sell items that you have decided no longer fit your lifestyle/body/etc., develop your removal strategy. I used local consignment shops, Craigslist, Poshmark, and ThredUp. Consignment stores and most consumers buy depending upon the season so depending on how fast you are looking to get rid of the item, you may want to time season-specific pieces.
  • For Donate, determine whether you want to drop off your items in bulk to one store, or whether you want to also support specialized collections like for women’s shelters.
  • For Dispose items, these are the items you are trashing or recycling. You can drop of textiles in any condition to Goodwill, for example, and they will recycle or repurpose it. If you don’t have a Goodwill near you, you can search online for other stores that recycle or for ideas on how you can re-purpose the items.

• Step 3 – Reflect: This part is very important. If you do not take lessons learned from this process, you will end up back here again. Ask yourself some questions:
  • How did I get here? Why am I really using retail therapy? Is it boredom, anxiety, loneliness? Finding the root is pivotal to the change you are looking for.
  • Why did I want to tackle this and clear out my home of the unnecessary?
  • How much time did I invest in this project all-in?
  • When sorting, were there any trends? What surprised me the most?
  • What do I really need? This will depend on your lifestyle and climate, for example. If you have four different hoodies, do you really need another?
  • How will a new item make my life better? Think beyond the immediate moment.

• Step 4 – Challenge Yourself: Take your journey to the next level.
  • Project 333: This is a fashion challenge started by Courtney Carver of Be More with Less to wear only 33 items for three months. You can adapt it to your needs, but you can see her rules for the challenge here. This will encourage you to be creative in styling, always love what you wear, and spend less time making outfit choices.
  • A No-Buy Period: Pick a period of time when you will buy nothing but essentials (food, for example). Some do 30-days, while others have gone a year or more. You can choose the parameters and what is allowed to be purchased during that time. This will push you to delay instant gratification and find creative ways to meet your daily needs. You can explore a wealth of experiences via YouTube and blogs with a simple internet search.

These steps are also applicable to other things we tend to collect, such as home décor and crafting supplies. We neatly organize them away but how often do you take stock before impulse buying something new?

The key to curbing and hopefully eliminating retail therapy and shopping as a pastime is not just going through all the items you have accumulated, but also digging into how you got to where you are and why you want change. Take the time to explore this, really dive in. When you are out again at stores (hopefully for something specific) and are tempted, remember what you learned from this process and how you felt after clearing out the unnecessary. This added perspective will help you stay strong.